The eternal benefits of pain

II Corinthians 4:16 - For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward

I've been in alot of pain lately. Because of congenital issues with my back and hips, I've always dealt with certain amounts of discomfort, and I've learned the hard way how to limit my activities accordingly. Still, at times of additional demands on my time or energy, these issues can spiral out of my control and I end up flat on my back in alot of pain, wishing for release.

Last night was one of those nights. As I have done in the past, I tried to use it as prayer time. However, this time I found myself easily distracted by to-do lists for the upcoming wedding in our family :-) A good distraction, for sure! In all, it took several of my waking hours overnight to finish my prayer list, and soon I was back to simply feeling miserable. This was when God used Facebook to remind me of His presence. One verse that a friend had posted was "Great is Thy faithfulness! His mercies are new every morning..." so encouraging, as I was torn between longing for the night to just be over so I could go about my long list of things to accomplish, and longing for just a few hours of sleep so I would have the energy to face all those things I needed to do! The other verse that encouraged my heart is the one I opened this post with, which I had committed to memory last year in Bible study. I am so grateful for these loving words from my Saviour to give strength in my weakness!

I found that today went more smoothly, and with far less pain, than I had anticipated, and I believe it is in large part due to God bringing these verses to mind. As I focus on the eternal good He is working in me, and the mercies He gives every day, I have little room left to complain about little aches & pains... May you, too, be comforted by these verses in whatever circumstance you find yourself today. man is renewed day by day. (17) For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;

Reflections on my 35th Birthday...

My version of Longfellow's "Mezzo Camin" -
Half my life is gone, and (by His grace) I HAVE fulfilled the aspiration of my youth,
to build some lofty song that will outlast my days.
Sorrow and care may threaten to keep me
from the plans God has for me.
Halfway up the hill, I see the Past lying beneath me:
a fulfilling ministry, loving marriage, godly kids,
and a future full of His promises.

"I know the plans I have for you, to prosper you, and to give you an expected end."

It's been a long time since I've posted, as my hubby so lovingly reminded me when he saw what I was doing. But I wanted to share this poem, written by an unsaved poet, as a challenge, both to those of you who have most of their lives ahead of them, as well as to those who see the end nearing ever more quickly. Life does not have to be filled with regrets and missed opportunities. While the days may be filled with discouragement and unmet goals, the years can be filled with growth and love for others. If you are ministering to "the least of these" in His strength today, God is pleased with your efforts. He does not ask you or me to be concerned with results -- He only asks that we be faithful to our calling.

A song I have been listening to from West Coast Baptist College's "Stand" talks about this. It says, in essence, that when we get to heaven, the Lord will show us the faces of those we served, not because we were part of the visible harvest, but because we were faithful to sow the seeds and to water them with His love and His Word. That is my desire for whatever time remains in my life here on earth.

The Cat Years

This is an article originally written by Adair Lara, quoted from San Francisco Chronicle and passed along to me by a friend.

"I just realized that while children are dogs -- loyal and affectionate -- teenagers are cats. It's so easy to be a dog owner. You feed it, train it, boss it around. It puts its head on your knee and gazes at you as if you were a Rembrandt painting. It bounds indoors with enthusiasm when you call it.

"Then, around age 13, your adoring little puppy turns into a big old cat. When you tell it to come inside, it looks amazed, as if wondering who died and made you emperor. Instead of dogging your footsteps, it disappears. You won't see it again until it gets hungry -- then it pauses on its sprint through the kitchen long enough to turn its nose up at whatever you're serving. When you reach out to ruffle its head, in that old affectionate gesture, it twists away from you, then gives you a blank stare, as if trying to remember where it has seen you before.

"You, not realizing that the dog is now a cat, think something must be desperately wrong with it. It seems so antisocial, so distant, sort of depressed. It won't go on family outings.

"Since you're the one who raised it, taught it to fetch and stay and sit on command, you assume that you did something wrong. Flooded with guilt and fear, you redouble your efforts to make your pet behave.

"Only now you're dealing with a cat, so everything that worked before now produces the opposite of the desired result. Call it, and it runs away. Tell it to sit, and it jumps on the counter. The more you go toward it, wringing your hands, the more it moves away.

"Instead of continuing to act like a dog owner, you can learn to behave like a cat owener. Put a dish of food near the door, and let it come to you. But remember that a cat needs your help and your affection too. Sit still, and it will come, seeking that warm, comforting lap it has not entierely forgotten. Be there to open the door for it.

"One day, your grown-up child will walk into the kitchen, give you a big kiss and say, 'You've been on your feet all day. Let me get those dishes for you.' Then you'll realize your cat is a dog again."

I hope this is an encouragement, as well as a bit of comic relief, for the many of us struggling to find our equilibrium with teen-aged and adult kids. They are worth every bit of the challenge. Imagine how much we are learning from them about how to be more Christ-like!

The most hurtful thing we can do to God...

Happy Valentines' Day! I hope you received an extra-special blessing from someone today, and that you were able to show God's love in a personal way to someone in your life.  On the radio today, I heard something that I really identified with, and it stopped me in my tracks. The host said, "The most hurtful thing we can do to God is to doubt His love for us." Before I was a parent, I think I would have taken issue with the way that was worded. However, as a step-parent and a parent, I think I understand exactly what was meant by that statement. I think the most hurtful thing my kids have said to me has been along the lines of "You don't even love us. You're just in this for what you can get out of it." As ludicrous as these statements are to those outside of our home, they still cause me pain, in part because there is simply no way to "prove" one's love to those who refuse to accept it. If someone chooses to see my actions as self-serving, nothing I can do will cause them to believe otherwise. In the same way, God surrounds us with His love and the product of that love: friends, family, circumstances, even beautiful sunrises and spring breezes! Yet, if we choose to believe that He does not love us, He does not choose to force Himself on us. I think that it must hurt Him, though.

I think the second most hurtful thing is to simply be ignored. Instead of someone actively accusing me of not loving them, sometimes I simply feel as though I don't exist, or that I exist only to the extent as any other household staff might exist. I pick them up, feed them, clean house, etc... just like anyone they could pay to take my place. In the same way, we can treat God as though He exists only for our pleasure. We come to expect a beautiful spring morning, and refuse to thank Him for the gift that it is. We anticipate the love of our children and spouse, but fail to show gratitude for the special way He has blessed us.

I pray today, as I am reminded of these truths, not only that I will acknowledge the place God has at the center of my life, but also that I will continually accept and reflect His awesome love to those He has brought across my path. I pray the same for you.

His strength is made perfect...

This week God has had me studying through the circumstances surrounding David's prayer for forgiveness. As I've looked at the rewards of a broken and contrite heart, my own heart has been so encouraged. It seems I am most faithful in my time with the Lord when my time seems the most limited. Lord, grant me consistency in my spiritual walk!

Yesterday ended my husband's two weeks on what we call the 'night shift'. Really, he only works till 8:00 or 9:00 most evenings, but because this involves most of the kids' inter-active hours, it makes a real difference in the spirit of our home. When Dan left for his shift yesterday, two of the kids were heading out to various activities, but the one (of the teen boys) who would be staying with me had already been part of several discipline situations. I was dreading the prospect of constantly correcting him, which I suspected would culminate with my being accused of just being a 'wicked step-mom.'

Instead, God showed His strength through my weakness, and I had a wonderful afternoon and evening with M!  What a change from the way I had assumed the evening would go!  We laughed and teased each other, and he helped me to accomplish all the little 'necessary' things, while interacting sweetly with the younger girls, who were also home. It was such a sweet reminder to me of God's ability to shine through our weaknesses, at the end of a long work-week without my hubby, to change each of our behaviors just enough to truly enjoy our time together.

I hope you'll take with you today the reminder that God's strength comes in surprising ways sometimes. Instead of giving me the consistency I thought I would need to be a loving disciplinarian for the expected problems, God just granted me a fun evening with a son whom I dearly love!  What a joy!  Go in grace...

Rachel

In the fullness of time, God!...

The promises of Scripture that most encourage and inspire me are those relating to the birth of the promised Messiah!  What an honor to be thought of by a holy God, and to be cared for so deeply that He would see my need, and meet it in His own only Son. He planned for centuries the exact course history, His-story, would have to take in order for all the conditions to be perfect at the arrival of the Messiah.  He orchestrated the rise and fall of world empires. He ordained the spread of a single language throughout the known world. He founded a dynasty and promised its forbears that someday their Son would sit on the throne of eternity! 

Why did an Almighty God take such pains?  Why did He plan such exacting and irrefutable details?  Because I needed a Savior. He saw my need and wrote the prescription, multiple millenia before my mother felt the first flutter-kicks in her womb. God be praised!  Christmas is truly the story of His gift!

Galatians 4:4 says, "In the fullness of time, God sent forth His son..." So many hundreds of prophecies were fulfilled to bring forth that exact baby, from those exact parents, into that precise historical era, with those precise world conditions. And all so that you and I could enjoy a personal relationship with the "Counsellor, the Mighty God, the Prince of Peace!"  Without Christ, truly, what could we possibly find to celebrate at CHRISTmas?!

Merry Christmas! May you have courage to keep Christ the focal point of His celebration this season!

Carving my Burdens in Sand...

A friend reminded me recently to carve my blessings in stone, but my burdens in sand.  At first blush, this thought appeared to be "a good idea." But as I continued to meditate on it, it became much more deep and precious to me. Who is it that knows my frame better than anyone else?  Who is it that designed my burdens exactly to fit my weaknesses?  My God, who called me to these burdens, is the same One who calls me to cast those burdens upon Him. What a sweet thought!  On the other hand, if I have Him to carry my burdens, what would keep me from celebrating my blessings?!  I find that the "dailies", which I would have written in a much more harsh light, become less hurtful and less important, the more I keep my eyes trained above, on all of the eternal blessings I enjoy through my relationship with the Lord!

The weekend is here.  As I watch my friends' Facebook posts celebrating how many hours until their relaxing weekends start, I sometimes wonder when my weekend will come!  I mean, really.... when does a mom get to simply see the clock strike 5, gather up her things, and walk out the door for 2 1/2 days?  What bliss!  But it has been a good evening.  My 16-year old son took it upon himself to set up the Christmas village, even to the point of searching through the boxes in the attic for every last piece, then putting all the empty "village" boxes back in the attic.  Of course, I haven't seen the attic since he last left it, but for now, I am enjoying a well-decorated living room. So everything isn't exactly the way I would have placed it.  That's a good thing, though, because that means I wasn't the one doing it! Sometimes the rewards of consistent parenting just reach out and grab your attention, and the results are sweet!

Meanwhile, my 14-year old son has been lighting every candle he can find, mixing the aromas of vanilla, cinnamon spice, and evergreen in an interesting combination. He built a beautiful fire, too... a fire his sister referred to tonight as "a magazine fire." Even after the gas starter was off, the fire was spread beautifully across the neatly stacked logs - a rarity for my son's fires!

With one gone to basketball games and one at work, life seems a bit calmer tonight. We are constantly amazed at how much different the spirit of the house is with just one of those teen-aged alpha-males absent. It doesn't even really matter which one, as long as there are only two in the house at once! So I am counting my blessings tonight, and carving them in stone. (Granted, this is a much easier project when the burdens are as far away as last night or tomorrow!) But it is my choice to place my focus on blessings for today!