Meditations on Ballast

Earlier this week, I read this book.

Usually, historical narratives don't leave me meditating on spiritual truths. But this one did. Besides all the fascinating minutiae about different sizes of frigates and sloops, and the politics governing each nation's choices in the war, there was a LOT of talk about ballast.

Are you familiar with the concept of ballast? Wikipedia defines ballast as "heavy material, such as gravel, sand, iron, or lead, placed low in a vessel to improve its stability." Ballast is something I've heard about for years, but it never impacted me the way it did this time.

Heavy material is present in the ship of each of our lives. Maybe you're struggling right now with a battle that is out of your hands: the choices of a loved one, infertility, a divorce, a physical challenge.  The designers of each ship in the War of 1812 had determined what amount of ballast, or heaviness, would work best for their particular design. Whatever the heaviness is in your life, the first thing to remember about ballast is that It was designed by God.

Something else I had not given much thought to was how ballast is used. I always thought of it as a stack of bricks or sandbags, heaped in the hold of a vessel and never thought of again.

In reality, the battles in this book were filled with examples of how a captain saved his ship, or lost it to the enemy, depending on how he used his ballast. It is moved around even during a challenging time, in order to give the ship an advantage of position in the water, or a better angle for the sails to catch the wind. The same is true of the heaviness in your life. Not only was this ballast designed by God, but It is there to help you.

Look again at the definition. Ballast is placed low in a vessel... doesn't it seem like the heaviness that overwhelms us hits us in our weakest point?...and its purpose is to improve stability. Remember the verses in II Corinthians about glorying in infirmities and distresses? Verse 10 reminds us that "when I am weak, then am I strong." That's right. Just like so many other principles in God's kingdom, this one is backward. It is in our time of greatest heaviness that God intercedes with HIS strength. Because really, which of us can make lasting progress in our own strength? Isn't it more effective to rest in His strength? He designed the heaviness in our lives to exactly match the design of our "ship." He gave it to us to help us, and most importantly, It can bring us His strength, if we let it.

So what is your response to the ballast in your life today? Are you fighting it? Are you scouring the hold of your life for anything that doesn't please you, and throwing it overboard in a fit of self-confidence? I encourage you to embrace the heaviness, the weariness, the illness, the unanswered questions, the heartache that God has placed in your life today. Thank Him for offering you His strength for your weakness. It's the best way to live.

A Sacrifice of Praise... Overtime!

    Have you ever noticed how many times we are instructed to praise in God's word? I mean really, why would God not just expect us to praise Him when we feel grateful and let us off the hook when life gets rough? I'm beginning to realize (yes, again... how many times must I learn the same lesson!?) that sometimes, giving praise because of the trial in my life brings a greater blessing. 

    Lately, I've had no trouble finding things to praise God for... a relaxing afternoon hosting a beloved missionary family, a peaceful evening playing board games with my kiddos, my husband's renewed health to return to work after an extended illness... the blessings have been flowing heavily around here! 

    So why, tonight, did I find myself grasping at straws to write in my gratitude journal? It wasn't that rough of a day. Pretty relaxing, really. My girls and I read aloud together, I made some yummy home-cooked meals, nothing broke down, and there wasn't even any teenager conflict like sometimes rears its ugly head! I'm blessed! So why couldn't I think of something to put into words?
  
    Because God wanted more from me today. He wanted a sacrifice of praise today. He wasn't going to let me off the hook with the typical blessings today. It was time for me to dig deeper into my soul and obey His order to give thanks in everything! So, here goes...

    Disclaimer: If you're a military spouse, or someone whose spouse truly works long hours, you have my respect! But for me, anything longer than an eight-hour shift sets me to counting the minutes for my husband's return. Today, my challenge was to thank God for overtime. It hasn't been too long since I was worried about whether my husband would ever be well enough to return to work full-time. God has restored his health completely! And just a few weeks before that, we were going over the budget with a fine-tooth comb, trying to figure out how to keep loose ends together until "overtime season" returned. So I'm grateful today. On this, a beautiful Saturday that passed peacefully without incident, I'm grateful that my husband spent nearly twelve hours at work. I'm grateful that he missed out on going to a mystery shop for dinner with me and four of the kids. I'm grateful that we had to play our nightly round of skip-bo without his competitive hand or his wry humor. I'm grateful that I snuggled down into a cold bed, shivering until my heating blanket warmed up, while he was finishing his last flight at work. And I'm especially grateful that my husband is a hard-worker who doesn't complain about the longer days!

    I'm not saying "thank you" because I feel like it, but because it is the right thing to do. Again, I know many of you suffer far worse than this, especially if your husband works out of town or out of the country. You have my undying respect and gratitude. But for me, this is what God asked of me today, to sacrifice by thanking Him for my husband's work schedule. 

    What are you grateful for today? Let me know in the comments below. I look forward to hearing from you!

Carving my Burdens in Sand...

A friend reminded me recently to carve my blessings in stone, but my burdens in sand.  At first blush, this thought appeared to be "a good idea." But as I continued to meditate on it, it became much more deep and precious to me. Who is it that knows my frame better than anyone else?  Who is it that designed my burdens exactly to fit my weaknesses?  My God, who called me to these burdens, is the same One who calls me to cast those burdens upon Him. What a sweet thought!  On the other hand, if I have Him to carry my burdens, what would keep me from celebrating my blessings?!  I find that the "dailies", which I would have written in a much more harsh light, become less hurtful and less important, the more I keep my eyes trained above, on all of the eternal blessings I enjoy through my relationship with the Lord!

The weekend is here.  As I watch my friends' Facebook posts celebrating how many hours until their relaxing weekends start, I sometimes wonder when my weekend will come!  I mean, really.... when does a mom get to simply see the clock strike 5, gather up her things, and walk out the door for 2 1/2 days?  What bliss!  But it has been a good evening.  My 16-year old son took it upon himself to set up the Christmas village, even to the point of searching through the boxes in the attic for every last piece, then putting all the empty "village" boxes back in the attic.  Of course, I haven't seen the attic since he last left it, but for now, I am enjoying a well-decorated living room. So everything isn't exactly the way I would have placed it.  That's a good thing, though, because that means I wasn't the one doing it! Sometimes the rewards of consistent parenting just reach out and grab your attention, and the results are sweet!

Meanwhile, my 14-year old son has been lighting every candle he can find, mixing the aromas of vanilla, cinnamon spice, and evergreen in an interesting combination. He built a beautiful fire, too... a fire his sister referred to tonight as "a magazine fire." Even after the gas starter was off, the fire was spread beautifully across the neatly stacked logs - a rarity for my son's fires!

With one gone to basketball games and one at work, life seems a bit calmer tonight. We are constantly amazed at how much different the spirit of the house is with just one of those teen-aged alpha-males absent. It doesn't even really matter which one, as long as there are only two in the house at once! So I am counting my blessings tonight, and carving them in stone. (Granted, this is a much easier project when the burdens are as far away as last night or tomorrow!) But it is my choice to place my focus on blessings for today!